THE GREAT DEBATE (sort of? Is it even a debate?)
by MalachiConstant
Summary: I kidnap all the FF7 and 8 people and make them debate over who is the best! But is has a twist, yes it does. WARNING: IF YOU DONOT READ THIS STORY YOUR EYES WILL FALL OUT!!


  
All the Final Fantasy charters ever in existance where brought together  
once again. Then when they where just about to talk, all the characters from  
FF1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 9 died. It was a mysterious accurance, but everyone  
agreed not to mention it.  
  
So anyway, Malachi Constant trapped everyone in a room and put them to a   
certain awareness. Now they shall debate over who is better purely for   
Malachi's (and your) amusement. So here it is.  
  
***  
  
Cloud: So you think you all that. You think you the man young buck. Man you  
ain't ready for Cloud! You ain't up on that son! What we did, you ain't ready  
for. Youngbuck! If you don't got beef then get of the corner!  
  
Squall: Man, shut yo gay ass up. No one like ya'll no more. You like   
Fila, you played out. Like they say out with the old in with the new. We   
got better graphics, better plot, a better story line, AND better character  
development!   
  
FREEZE  
  
Malachi_Constant: I did not expect this to happen. Oh well(get's out   
popcorn), it's all gravy.  
  
UN-FREEZE  
  
Cloud: Enough of this! (Cloud takes out his ULTIMA WEAPON!) Every one knows  
materia was far better than yo stupid stealin' powers can ever be. Yo bootleg  
ass theif.  
  
Squall: (takes out his Gunblade) I'm bout to buss a cap in yo' ass and make  
yo whole god damned body shiver!!  
  
Brownie Bandit (Narrator): What endured was a battle far greater than that   
you have ever seen.  
  
***  
  
Malachi: Next, we have Tifa and Rhinoa (How you spell her name again?)  
  
Tifa: Bitch, I look way better than your little undeveloped ass. Lil' girl  
what you know about Tifa. You ain't ready for Tifa.  
  
Rhinao: Aiyo where you from? Implant City or somthin'? Not only the   
president, but a member also! Fuck, you the founder of the whole god damned  
establishment! Everyone knows FF8 is a better game than FF7. Hence the name,  
DJ implants from out of this world!  
  
FREEZE  
  
MalachiConstant: She just had to roast on the breasts.  
  
UN-FREEZE  
  
Tifa: Little girl what you say! This guns are real!   
  
Rhinao: Yeah, real like Britney Spears.  
  
Tifa: THIS IS IT!   
  
Brownie Bandit: They begin to fight. Tifa walks around all Rhinoa's attacks  
like that's all you got? Rhinao blocks all Tifa's blows. And what it becomes  
is the biggest cat fight....ever in history.  
  
***  
  
Malachi: Next up, is Vincient against Irvence (I forgot his name too).  
  
Vincient: Son, what cell in yo' god damned mind convinced you that you are   
better than me? Do you know who I am? Son, you ain't ready. You think you a  
pimp, more like a shrimp. Like they say, old school playaz to new school   
fools (OutKast third album, that was my song)! I don' pimped mo girls in one  
week than you in yo' whole life son. You wanna know somethin' bout pimpin',   
sit down son let me learn you somethin'.  
  
BrownieBandit: Irvence sits down egerly.  
  
Irvence: I know all the basics already.  
  
Vincient: That's what I thought son.  
  
BrownieBandit: What it became was the biggest teaching of the art of pimp   
ever.  
  
Malachi: B.B you are very retarded indeed. I wanted to see Vincient murder  
that mug. Showdown at wild wild west in this bitch.  
  
BrownieBandit: We all can't get what we want. (takes out his notepad and   
starts to take notes).  
  
***  
  
Malachi: Next up, Selphie, and Yuffie.  
  
Yuffie: You ain't ready for this ninja. I battle with Xcaliber weaponry. Art  
of the Wu-tang shordy. You heard ma', Wu-tang. I'll G yo' gardian forces,   
I'll G yo materia, cause it Wu-tang silent style ya heard?   
  
Selphie: .......Ok. My names Selphie, what's yours?  
  
Yuffie: My names Yuffie. I'm from Wu-tai.  
  
Selphie: Well good for you.  
  
BrownieBandit: Uhh...What this became was the longest girly conversation  
ever in existance!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
***  
  
Malachi: Next up...Sephiroth and Ultimika.  
  
BrownieBandit: Sephiroth enters playin his aw ass music leavin' the whole r  
room breathless. Ultimica's entrance was straight.  
  
Sephiroth: You dare to challenge the almighty Sephiroth sorcera? I'm the   
born time miracle. Basiclly, I tell true lies in general, for gettin' in   
the game. The playa with a trillion years of gane.  
  
Ultimica: He got you sellin your spiratial for money, power, and fame. You   
see, he the creater we all the created I guess I'm just eternal damnation.  
Got you bitches seaking your own salvation. But how you choose to act? How  
you choose to handle that? Who taught you how to pray? Cause you read it in  
a book? Bitch please. Listen, everyday when you say amen and turn to false   
gods that is an unforgivable sin. But who really gives a flyin fuck, I taught  
you how to blood suck. And ultimately self destruct.   
  
Sephiroth:Wise the dom, I'm the alpha.  
  
Ultimica: I'm beta.   
  
Cloud: Uhhh...I'm omega?  
  
BrownieBandit: They just ripped off Raz Kaz!!! He's gonna be very angry.  
  
***  
  
Malachi: Well that was it. I could have been more creative and said put   
Ultimica and Jenova together. And then put Sephiroth and Edea together cause  
there poth puppets. I could have done a lot of stuff, but I just decided to  
make all of them talk like ther from New York. (puts on his fire resistant  
suit) BRING ON THE FLAMES!!!   
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
